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What You'll Learn:
Why feedback feels so uncomfortable—and what's really behind it.
The hidden costs of ignoring feedback (hint: it's more than missed opportunities).
Feedback remains your best tool for growth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
A practical perspective on giving, receiving, and learning from feedback.
In our first post, we introduced Project Feedback First 2.0: our quest to reimagine feedback for the modern workplace—a world where hybrid teams, shifting values, and rapid change demand new approaches. Now, let's tackle one of the most challenging questions: Why is feedback so hard—and why do we still need it?
A sad Christmas Carol
It’s Christmas 2022, and we’re in our house in the Sierra Madrileña. My daughter decided I should chop some wood to keep us warm. Determined, I grabbed my favorite axe and got to work. Swing after swing, I gave it my all, but the logs wouldn’t split.
The problem wasn’t just my technique—it was freezing outside, and my hands were so cold I couldn’t grip the axe properly or feel how blunt the blade had become. But I kept going, convinced that pushing harder would solve the problem. Not unusual for me.
Then Carmen, my neighbor, appeared, carrying a stack of perfectly chopped wood. She smiled smugly and said, “Your axe blade is dull.”
She was right. But instead of taking her advice, my defensive monkey brain kicked in. Her “tone” felt mocking and slightly disrespectful, so I doubled down, swinging even harder to prove her wrong. The result? Blisters, exhaustion, and a bitterly cold, disappointed family.
Had I taken Carmen’s comment as caring advice, I could have saved time, energy, and pride. But instead, I let emotions, assumptions, and the freezing conditions cloud my judgment, leaving me stuck making the same mistake over and over again.
Why feedback feels hard
Feedback is all around us, whether we notice it or not. Our environment constantly sends signals so our brain can decide how to (re)act—provided it’s not flooded with emotions.
When chopping wood, the logs gave me feedback by not splitting. My nervous system registered the unusual resistance and the dull sound of the axe. This type of feedback was neutral and clear—it could have worked if I had paid attention.
Human-to-human feedback operates on another level. Imagine you’re giving a presentation to the management team. Their feedback might be indirect—a silent, unimpressed glance—or direct, like the CEO offering three things to improve. This last form of feedback, though invaluable, often feels personal and hard to handle.
Unlike the neutral signals from wood or an audience’s silence, direct feedback is tangled in emotion, relationships, and assumptions. Was it meant to help or punish? Was it delivered out of care or criticism?
Why we can't ignore feedback
Yes, feedback is hard, but avoiding it creates bigger problems. Ignoring feedback doesn’t just keep us stuck—it slows us down, leaves us fragile, and weakens relationships. Here’s why feedback is indispensable:
1. Avoiding Feedback Makes Us Slow
Ignoring feedback is like chopping wood with a dull axe. Every swing wastes energy, drains strength, and leaves you far from your goal.
The same principle applies to teams. Avoiding feedback doubles down on ineffective strategies, stalls progress, and misses opportunities. For instance, a team that ignores early user feedback delays launches and falls behind competitors.
2. Avoiding Feedback Leaves Us Fragile and Unprepared
Repeating mistakes can damage our confidence. Over time, this makes individuals and teams more hesitant, less adaptable, and unprepared for future challenges. A lack of feedback leaves us vulnerable when faced with new obstacles.
3. Avoiding Feedback Weakens Relationships
Poor feedback practices erode trust. When frustrations remain unspoken, collaboration suffers. People retreat into silos, unwilling to share ideas or challenge one another. Over time, this creates isolation and reduces team effectiveness.
4. Avoiding Feedback Leads to Immediate and Long-term Disasters
Ignoring feedback carries both short-term and long-term risks that can be devastating.
In high-stakes environments, such as healthcare or aviation, disregarding critical feedback can result in immediate catastrophe—lives lost due to a surgeon dismissing a nurse’s warning or a pilot ignoring a co-pilot’s concern.
In the business world, the consequences might not be as sudden, but they are equally damaging. Broken trust, stalled innovation, and missed opportunities quietly compound over time, leaving organizations vulnerable to failure. Teams that neglect feedback risk irrelevance as competitors adapt and improve faster.
Key Takeaways: Why Feedback Is Worth It
It Accelerates Growth: Feedback is a fast track to improvement, helping individuals and teams adapt quickly, uncover blind spots, and unlock potential.
It Builds Resilience: Engaging with feedback strengthens confidence, teaches adaptability, and prepares us to navigate future challenges.
It Strengthens Relationships: Honest, thoughtful conversations foster trust, collaboration, and stronger connections within teams and organizations.
It Drives Progress: Acting on feedback fuels continuous improvement, ensuring you stay ahead in a fast-paced and competitive world.
It Prevents Catastrophe: Timely feedback helps avoid both immediate disasters and long-term damage by addressing issues before they spiral out of control.
Have you ignored feedback and messed up?
We’ve all been there—missing the signal, dismissing the advice, or stubbornly sticking to a failing strategy. But we’ve also seen feedback transform situations and relationships.
Let’s build a community of learners.
Have you ever ignored direct or indirect feedback and regretted it?
What did it cost you, and what did you learn?
Conversely, how have you made feedback work for your team or organization?
Drop your thoughts in the comments or join the conversation. Progress begins where discomfort meets opportunity. Let’s reimagine feedback together!
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